Another one gone, and another one gone, another one bites the dust...A house that is.
I can't believe we lost another house at inspection. But after talking it over with the realtor and reading the inspection report we thought the right thing to do was to walk away. We figured with the upgrades that we wanted to do on the house and the repairs that needed to be made before we could even move in we were going to be looking at over $30,000. With what we were offered for the house and the additional cost we would be pricing ourselves out of the neighborhood.
We didn't really want to be underwater before we moved in, to me it just didn't make sense. When I finally talked to our realtor and told him I was actually pretty sad about it I baked two dozen cupcakes and drowned my sorrows in double chocolate.
So now we're back on the hunt and I know the right house is out there we just have to find it.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Infertile Girl Problem: Bitter Betty
I hate the way I feel, I hate the fact that I'm not happy. I hate the fact when I see other peoples children it hurts me. I hate the fact that friends that met after D and I did are working on children #2 or #3. I really want to be happy for them but I just can't.
I'm a good person, I try to put others before me, I try to help others and make sure everyone else is happy.
Why me? Why now? Why this challenge?
These are all questions that I can't answer, these are things I just don't know.
Where is my happy ending?
I'm a good person, I try to put others before me, I try to help others and make sure everyone else is happy.
Why me? Why now? Why this challenge?
These are all questions that I can't answer, these are things I just don't know.
Where is my happy ending?
Friday, January 11, 2013
Another set back
I thought I was just going in to get a script for Provera and was going to try to talk to her about doing a Clomid cycle but she had other plans.
We start to chat and she asked me how I was feeling and how I was doing after surgery. She told me that she followed my case and talked to my neuro a few times and she thought he was wonderful, I said I felt the same way. I told her I was feeling well and most all of the issues that happened after surgery were gone. The headaches were starting to go away and the I was starting to go back to my normal day-to-day routine. She was happy to hear that and she wanted to talk about a plan for moving forward.
She asked me when my last period was and of course I told her and she was a little concerned that I haven't had one since surgery. We started to talk a little more and she said well I want to run the entire set of labs again and see what's going on after surgery and if my Pit Gland was working.
She also wanted to do an ultrasound and check my lining to see how thick it was and how my ovaries looked. After about 40 minutes in the room with her a med student and the dildo cam she said everything looked great. She was a little surprised that my lining wasn't thick at all which was something she wasn't expecting to see she said it should be somewhere between 8mm-10mm (1cm) but it was only 6mm. She doesn't want to do Provera right now she thinks we should wait because the lining was thin.
So I get dressed and she leaves to go review a few things. This is when it all went down hill...and fast. She comes back and explains to me that after looking at the last set of blood work, my ovaries and my ute Clomid might not be an option for me, because what the Clomid does is it tricks your brain to produce estrogen and FSH to create a folice and make me ovulate, but there's a good possibility if the Pit isn't working after surgery the Clomid won't do what it's supposed to. She also thinks the only real option might be is injectables and an IUI.
Right now to say I hate my brain is an understatement. I hate the fact that I will never ovulate on my own and even after all that I've been through I may still never get the one thing that I want in life the most. I cried most of the day was pretty weepy about the whole situation but the RE is still confident somehow someway I will get pregnant.
We start to chat and she asked me how I was feeling and how I was doing after surgery. She told me that she followed my case and talked to my neuro a few times and she thought he was wonderful, I said I felt the same way. I told her I was feeling well and most all of the issues that happened after surgery were gone. The headaches were starting to go away and the I was starting to go back to my normal day-to-day routine. She was happy to hear that and she wanted to talk about a plan for moving forward.
She asked me when my last period was and of course I told her and she was a little concerned that I haven't had one since surgery. We started to talk a little more and she said well I want to run the entire set of labs again and see what's going on after surgery and if my Pit Gland was working.
She also wanted to do an ultrasound and check my lining to see how thick it was and how my ovaries looked. After about 40 minutes in the room with her a med student and the dildo cam she said everything looked great. She was a little surprised that my lining wasn't thick at all which was something she wasn't expecting to see she said it should be somewhere between 8mm-10mm (1cm) but it was only 6mm. She doesn't want to do Provera right now she thinks we should wait because the lining was thin.
So I get dressed and she leaves to go review a few things. This is when it all went down hill...and fast. She comes back and explains to me that after looking at the last set of blood work, my ovaries and my ute Clomid might not be an option for me, because what the Clomid does is it tricks your brain to produce estrogen and FSH to create a folice and make me ovulate, but there's a good possibility if the Pit isn't working after surgery the Clomid won't do what it's supposed to. She also thinks the only real option might be is injectables and an IUI.
Right now to say I hate my brain is an understatement. I hate the fact that I will never ovulate on my own and even after all that I've been through I may still never get the one thing that I want in life the most. I cried most of the day was pretty weepy about the whole situation but the RE is still confident somehow someway I will get pregnant.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
60 days post op
I made it, two months, 8 weeks, 60 days and I can say I feel great!
To go along with the "bet" I've been going back to the gym and tonight was the first time that I made it through an hour of full speed no holds barred Zumba and I felt 100% after it.
Not lightheaded, not sore, not tired nothing! It feels so good to feel good!
To go along with the "bet" I've been going back to the gym and tonight was the first time that I made it through an hour of full speed no holds barred Zumba and I felt 100% after it.
Not lightheaded, not sore, not tired nothing! It feels so good to feel good!
Thursday, January 3, 2013
A little annoyed but moving forward
Here's a little history lesson for you, I'm currently on CD 137 and when you break that down CD1 was on August 20 2012 which equals just about 5 months ago and that was started with a prescription of Provera 10 days prior to that. And that script came from the same day I found out about the little critter. It's been a crazy 5 months of tests, exams, MRIs, CT scans, surgery and recovery.
Yesterday I called my RE's office to get another prescription and the dingbat nurse I talked to wouldn't call one in for me and to say I was annoyed was an understatement. She wanted me to come in so we could schedule blood work to make sure I wasn't pregnant (umm hello) and to make sure I haven't ovulated on my own (again hello).
I tried to explain to her that because of the tumor that was removed on my brain I wasn't ovulating and unable to on my own and probably haven't for years and years...still not grasping. So finally I broke down and make an appointment to come in and discuss the Provera script and also I think it's time to have the Clomid talk as well. I was going to wait until after my next appointment with my Neurosurgeon to see what was going on with the critter (or lack thereof) but this is just the push I need and maybe by the time the next appointment comes around there is a possibility that I'll be KTFU!!
Yesterday I called my RE's office to get another prescription and the dingbat nurse I talked to wouldn't call one in for me and to say I was annoyed was an understatement. She wanted me to come in so we could schedule blood work to make sure I wasn't pregnant (umm hello) and to make sure I haven't ovulated on my own (again hello).
I tried to explain to her that because of the tumor that was removed on my brain I wasn't ovulating and unable to on my own and probably haven't for years and years...still not grasping. So finally I broke down and make an appointment to come in and discuss the Provera script and also I think it's time to have the Clomid talk as well. I was going to wait until after my next appointment with my Neurosurgeon to see what was going on with the critter (or lack thereof) but this is just the push I need and maybe by the time the next appointment comes around there is a possibility that I'll be KTFU!!
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Goodbye 2012, Hello 2013
Dear 2012.
I just wanted to bid you adieu. You made me laugh you made me cry, you tested my strength, my faith and my patience. You brought me new friends and closer to old friends. You made me realize what was important to me and who was important to me. I want 2013 to bring health and happiness to everyone and make all of our wishes come true.
Love
Me
I just wanted to bid you adieu. You made me laugh you made me cry, you tested my strength, my faith and my patience. You brought me new friends and closer to old friends. You made me realize what was important to me and who was important to me. I want 2013 to bring health and happiness to everyone and make all of our wishes come true.
Love
Me
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