The Bet!

D and I decided that we were going to start a small wager.  Since recovering from surgery I haven't really been dieting and paying attention to what we've been eating, and slowly a few pounds creeped back on.  After surgery and my hospital stay I lost a total of about 10lbs and sadly in the 7 weeks following that time I gained those 10 pounds back and I really don't want them.

So tonight on the way home from gorging ourselves on Christmas dinner #2 at the in-laws I thought there had to be a way to get this under control and my solution a bet, a big bet.  I proposed a small wager of the first person to lose 50lbs gets $50 from the person who didn't get there first.  And if that wasn't enough I added another level of the 1st person to 100lbs gets $100.  And finally the grand prize if we get our ultimate goal weight and lose 125lbs each he gets the experience of a lifetime which he has always wanted to do but we really didn't have the money to do it.  It's called "Hand on the Throttle" it's a chance to drive a locomotive engine with classes and about 45 minutes to drive.  And if I get to my ultimate goal weight I get a beautiful Michael Kors purse that I have been lusting over.

I don't know if this is going to work, but I do know that we are both very competitive people and we both refuse to lose so this might get ugly but I think in the long run the benefits will outweigh (forgive the pun) the fights and bickering over the next 6 months to a year and bring us what we need.  Health and well being.

Wish us luck because I know we're going to need it.

11 Days Post Op

Today is 11 days past brain surgery and I can honestly say today is the 1st day that I feel well.  I didn't wake up with a headache, I did however wake up with a backache.  In retrospect I'm doing well and much better than expected, I don't know if I could have said that a week ago.

Here is the journey from surgery to current day and how it went.

Surgery Day.

I got to the hospital around noon checked in got settled and prepped for surgery.  They put me in a funny little paper dress and hat and oh so stylish slipper socks.  After a delay they rolled me into surgery around 2pm.

The last thing I remember was getting into the OR and them unlocking the door, it was a strange OR with a big screen to see what they're doing and an airlock on the door.  I get in the room they note the time that it's 2:04pm the nurse says we're going to give you something to relax and that was the last thing I remember.  The next 8:00pm, 6 hours gone and didn't know what happened.

I woke up with a huge headache and backache from the drain they placed in my back.  I was groggy and drowsy but feeling ok.

I spent the next two days in the ICU being poked and prodded along the way checking anything and everything they could check.  But all my hormone levels were good and I was progressing better than they thought.

So they told me they would send me off to the regular floor and out of the ICU, I did so good I was able to walk out of the ICU to the regular floor without any help (I was a little proud of that myself)

This was followed by another 3 days of poking and prodding in the hospital and the doctor said I was able to go home and so off I went.

I still don't feel 100% but I'm getting better all the time, and I can do a little more everyday.  I'm guessing I might be back 100% in about a week or so, which to me is just amazing.

I'm so thankful and feel so blessed to be doing so well just two weeks after brain surgery considering how scared I was just before surgery.

So true

I really must remember this.

Finally a little good news

I was sitting in work and my cell phone rings with a strange number I don't recognize, but I reluctantly answer it.

My RE was calling me to check in and see how I was doing.  I told her when the surgery was and she told me I was in good hands with my neurosurgeon and not to worry and there are plenty of fertility treatment options for me after surgery.

I can't begin to tell you how much I love her.  This is a huge step considering the neuro told me there was a huge possibility I wouldn't be able to get pregnant after surgery and possibly turn menopausal. She really put my mind at ease today and helped with the anxiety about the surgery.  To say I'm over the moon happy right now is an understatement.

I know it's still going to be a long road ahead of us but this is a huge step forward.

It's scheduled.

I came home late from work and going to the gym, cooked dinner, ate and did the dishes.  I finally get around to opening up today's mail and there was a letter from my Neurosurgeon.  At 1st I thought it was just another bill, I swear I'm going to owe Yale my 1st born (oh wait never mind they might not get that) I read the letter and my surgery has been scheduled.

It's set to go on Oct 30 2012, I have to be to the hospital at 6:00 am and I'm really not looking forward to that.  Theyalso scheduled my pre-surgery testing including another MRI and CT Scan and a physical.

I also have to meet with my Neurosurgeon at after all the testing to explain surgery to me and make sure I understand it all.

This just got very real!

Surgery

If you read the my Real Diagnosis post you know that on my last RE appointment they told me the cause of my IF is not PCOS, but a large pituitary tumor on sitting on the base of my brain.  She referred me to a neurosurgeon to  see what kind of treatment I needed for it.

But after seeing the Neurosurgeon he sat down with me and went over everything and apparently the tumor is so large it needs to be removed. The doctor said he wants to do surgery as soon as possible, not tomorrow but in the next month or so. I still have to go to the eye doctor for field vision testing to see if the tumor has caused any damage to my vision now or if it will in the future.

Now the hardest thing for me to hear wasn't the fact that I had a brain tumor, wasn't the fact they're going to remove it, but the fact that there is a large possibility that once the tumor is removed there's no guarantee that I'll be able to have children.  The pituitary controls the the hormones that make my ovaries work, and it is possible that once everything is done it may never work and essentially I could go into early menopause.

The neuro is going to talk to the RE to see if it is a possibility of doing and ER and freezing some eggs prior to surgery. But since I'm OOP for meds and wasn't really expecting this I don't think I have the money for the meds to do this.

I'm still praying for a miracle and again this is yet another speed bump in the road to start our flock.

Infertile Girl Problems

One of the biggest issues that face an infertile girl is it always seems that there are a million fertile girls that are surrounding them that all get KU simultaneously.   Went into work today and one of the girls comes around happy and squeeing that she messed up taking her BCP and whoops now she's KTFU!!  Figures how does this just happen to people.  She trys to explain that they didn't know if they wanted another baby, but it'll be ok.  We're so happy and blessed.

I have to pretend to be excited for her and happy that wow she was the .02% who's birth control didn't work.  This is not the thing that the girl who is on day 8 of Provera to induce my period because my body is incapable of ovulating on its own.  YAY ME!  So to top it all off I'm cranky, crabby, bloated, bitchy and just  generally off.  Not to mention I want to eat everything in site.

This is one of the things that started my crappy day out. But I knew it wasn't going to be a good day when Dunkin Donuts screwed up my coffee at 8am, it's all going to be downhill from there.

Too top off this craptastic day from hell, the house that we had on contract and under deposit we found out FHA wouldn't finance the house because the well and the septic system were to close together. So we found what could be a great starter home to build our little flock and we had to walk away from it.  They say if something is wrong with the house and you walk away it's because it wasn't really "your" house and our dream house is still out there waiting for us.  So we're back to the search yet again.

Little things that have huge impact.

I got a simple little card in the mail today, it was the perfect little pick-me-up and just what I needed because I was feeling down.

The words of a virtual stranger could make me feel so much better, I really appreciate the love and support that I have from afar.  So I just wanted to share this and keep it for the future when I have that little one in my arms I won't ever forget what happened.

Finally a real diagnosis.

We all know I've been struggling with the unknown, and the waiting for the last three months for my follow up appointment and how things are going.  The RE wanted to give me three months on the MF to see if it was working and how it was working, and from what I can see...it isn't

I get to the office and there are three pregnant women sitting in the waiting room, and this gives me a little hope, albeit false hope, but I digress.  I go in and the nurse takes my vitals height/weight/BP well the good news was in the last three months I lost 8lbs, a very hard fought 8lbs but hey I'll take them because the scale is going in the right direction.

After all of this I finally get in to see the RE and I told her what was going on and how things were going she sat down and wanted to go over all the tests I've taken in the last couple of months, and also found out the reason for the extra couple of test.  When she sat down I received news that was very difficult to hear, so hard I actually started to cry.  Apparently I don't have PCOS but she wanted to let me know that the MRI found a 2 cm mass on my Pitutary Gland on the base of my brain.  I heard words I never wanted to hear in my life, a million scenarios flashed through my now imperfect brain and tears rolled down my face.

Do I have cancer? Is it treatable?  Will I need radiation are they going to cut my skull open?  All these scenarios raced through my now imperfect brain.  The only thing that is getting me through this waiting period is the fact that if it was something they thought was serious or life threatening they would have had me in that day.  And the fact that I did a little research and come to find out these types of things are 99.98% benign and of those most of them don't need surgery.  Some can be treated with just medications and some people can go their entire life without any issues or symptoms.  If I wasn't trying to get pregnant and my doctor wasn't very agressive I would have never know it was there.

Now I have to have faith, that I will beat this and it's just a stumbling block along the way to creating our family.

A little inspiration

Sometimes you see something and it really makes you think.  Think about life and where it's going and where it's been.

Since Subway Art is all the rage now a days and when I saw a post on Pinterest and thought it was really interesting and fun to do. I knew it was something I had to try.Here is my inspiration:

I love it, I love the saying, I love the thought and meaning behind it.  I love the fact how it shows that the family grows.  Unfortunately at this time our family hasn't yet been able to grow.  We want, we try, we wait.  So this picture has inspired me to create my own Subway Art, a reminder that one day our family will grow, it will be more than just two of us, we will add to it.

My Picture was printed and put up and now when I see it, I have a little more hope that in the near future I will be able to take away the uncertainty and add a real date

True love

What do you call true love.  I say it's the man who you send a text message to at 10am that the giant bottle of pee that's sitting in the refrigerator needs to go to the lab, and he goes willingly..ok begrudgingly.

I get a few yes dears along the way, but he did it for me, and trust me I'm thankful for that.

I'm also thankful at the moment all the testing is over, I did say for the moment, but I have to have my follow up in a few weeks with my RE, to see what our plan of attack is.  If it stays the same as when we first met, it will be Clomid in a few weeks, I'm so happy to get things going, and hopefully get that elusive BFP in the next couple of months.

Tests, yet again.

Just when you thought it was done.

The RE's office called and the nurse said that I should come back in and talk to the doctor about the MRI results and she wanted to get more blood work.


I have to go back for more blood work and a 24 hour urine test for Cortisol levels.  I did the unthinkable, I consulted Dr Google (that famous know-all) and found out so many things that I probably didn't need to know.  I would hope if they found something on the MRI the doctor would have not waited 3 weeks to call me after the test if they thought there was going to be an issue.

But of course the first thing that comes to your head is I have a brain tumor, but then reality kicks and and says seriously if there was any doubt there was an issue they would have had me back the next day not a month later or two months later, because she said to come back in the next couple of weeks.

So I'm still on a holding pattern and still waiting, taking my 2000mg of MF everyday and dealing with all the symptoms that comes with it.

I just want some answers soon.

Weigh in

1. How much weight have I lost this week?
Down 2lbs this week

2. What eating plan are you following?
South Beach

3. What kind of exercise have I engaged in over this past week? How many hours?

Zumba Sunday and Friday and a nice walk on Saturday so 3 hours

4. How was I successful this week ?
More exercise, better eating habits.

5. Any slips or set backs this week?
Today all asian food chinese for dinner and vietnamese for lunch

6. My motivation for losing weight this week?
Started using my fitness pal to take some accountability for what I eat.

7. Wild Card!!!
Summer is here and so is bathing suit season.

Weekly weigh in

1. How much weight have I lost this week?
Down 5lbs this week, but I'm back to the beach and haven't cheated at all, but I'm still up 5lbs from about 2 months ago, it's not moving.

2. What eating plan are you following?
South Beach

3. What kind of exercise have I engaged in over this past week? How many hours?

Zumba Sunday Monday and Friday
Tried to go wednesday, but house appoinment got out late and I missed it.

4. How was I successful this week ?
More exercise, better eating habits.

5. Any slips or set backs this week?
None really, I was actually pretty good

6. My motivation for losing weight this week?
Getting healthy and staying healthy, maybe with the help of the MF, I might even "O" on my own.

7. Wild Card!!!
Back to reality after vacation.  I may be broken down and beaten up, but I will win this battle!!

Back to the Beach...yet again.

As of this week I'm back to my old standby. About 5 years ago, I lost a total of 70lbs on SBD and did so well with it, but slowly over time gained all but 10lbs back. Which is very disheartening to me. I worked so hard on it, and slowly over 3 years it creeped back on. It was slow to come off and 20lbs here and 20lbs there it came back.

So I'm starting again, let's hope it works for me, and I can stick to it. I say I'm going to start it again and again, and I just can't stick with it.

So phase one starts now. Dinner tonight is going to be a good Phase 2 meal (only because I have some fruit) but tomorrow morning I'm starting Phase 1, which is the shortest phase, lasting 14 days. It reduces cravings for sugar and refined starches, stabilizes blood sugar. The most rapid weight loss takes place during this 2-week period.



If you're not sure what South Beach Diet is, it's all about eating low glycemic foods, that digest slowly and enter your bloodstream slowly. It's about not eating high sugary things that give you that sugar spike and down you out and slow down your metabolism to a dead crawl. But here's a little preview of things that you can eat and things you can't, also a list good glycemic foods.



Foods Allowed in Phase 1

BEEF Lean cuts, such as: Eye of Round Ground beef: Extra Lean (96/4) Lean (92/8) Sirloin (90/10) Tenderloin Top Loin Top Round LAMB (Remove all visible fat) Center Cut Chop Loin PORK Boiled ham Canadian bacon Loin Tenderloin POULTRY (SKINLESS) Cornish hen Turkey bacon (2 slices per day) Turkey and chicken breast SEAFOOD All types of fish and shellfish TOFU Use soft, low-fat or lite varieties VEAL Chop Cutlet, leg Top round EGGS The use of whole eggs is not limited unless otherwise directed by your doctor. Use egg whites and egg substitute if desired. LUNCHMEAT Fat-free or low-fat only MEAT SUBSTITUTES (SOY BASED) Bacon - Limit to 2 slices per day Burger - < 3 gms fat per 2-3 oz portion Chicken Patties & Nuggets - < 3 gms fat per 2-3 oz portion Hot Dogs - < 3 gms fat per 2-3 oz portion Natural Peanut Butter - 2 Tbsp (may use as protein choice or limited nut choice) Sausage Pattie - Limit 1 patty per day Seiten Soy Crumbles Soy Nuts - 1/4 cup for a protein snack is suggested serving Tempeh Yuba DAIRY Low-fat (1 percent) or fat-free milk or soy milk Plain or sugar-free low-fat or fat-free yogurt Fat-free half & half CHEESE (FAT-FREE OR LOW-FAT) American Cheddar Cottage cheese, 1-2% or fat-free Cream cheese substitute, dairy-free Feta Mozzarella Parmesan Provolone Ricotta String NUTS (Limit to one serving per day as specified) Almonds - 15 (Dry roasted recommended) Brazil Nuts - 4 Cashews - 15 (Dry roasted recommended) Pecans - 15 (Dry roasted recommended) Macadamia - 8 (Dry roasted recommended) Peanut Butter - 1 tsp Peanut Butter, Natural = 2 TBS Peanuts, 20 small (May use dry roasted or boiled) Pine Nuts (Pignolia) - 1 ounce Pistachios - 30 (Dry roasted recommended) Walnuts - 15 (Dry roasted recommended) In place of nuts, may use: Flax Seed - 3 TBS

VEGETABLE CHOICES (includes legumes) (May use fresh, frozen or canned without added sugar) Artichokes Asparagus Beans, Green Beans, Italian Beans, Wax Beans or Legumes: Black Beans Butter Beans Chickpeas or Garbanzo Pigeon Peas Soy Beans Split Peas Broccoli Bok Choy Cabbage Cauliflower Celery Collard Greens Cucumbers Eggplant Lettuce (All varieties) Juice (Limit to 6 ounces per day) Tomato V-8 Mushrooms Mustard Greens Okra Onion - Limit to 1/2 per day Peppers (All varieties) Pickles - Dill or those sweetened with Splenda® Radishes (All varieties) Rhubarb Sauerkraut Snow peas Spinach Sprouts, Alfalfa Squash, Spaghetti Squash, Summer Yellow Zucchini Tomato - Limit to 1 whole or 10 cherry per serving FAT CHOICES (with some suggested serving sizes) The following monounsaturated oils are recommended to be consumed daily: Olive Oil Canola Oil Other Oil Choices that may be chosen (Polyunsaturated or a blend of Monounsaturated): Corn Enova Grape seed Safflower Soybean OTHER FAT CHOICES: Avocado - 1/3 whole = 1 TBS oil Guacamole - ½ cup = 1 TBS oil Margarine - Chose those that do not contain Trans Fatty Acids such as Fleishmann's Premium Olive Oil or Smart Balance Mayonnaise - Regular or Low Fat Olives (Green or Ripe) 15 = 1/2 TBS Salad Dressing - Use those < 3 gms sugar per serving TOPPINGS & SAUCES use sparingly (check labels for added sugar) Hot Sauce Salsa - Limit to 2 TBS during phase 1 Soy Sauce - 1/2 TBS Steak Sauce - 1/2 TBS Worcestershire Sauce - 1 TBS Whipped Topping (Light) - 2 TBS SPICES AND SEASONINGS All spices that contain no added sugar Broth Extracts (almond, vanilla, or others) Horseradish sauce I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! Spray Lemon Juice Lime Juice Pepper (black, cayenne, red, white) SWEET TREATS (Limit to 75 calories per day) Candies, hard, sugar-free Chocolate powder, no-added-sugar Cocoa powder, baking type Fudgsicles, sugar-free Gelatin, sugar-free Gum, sugar-free Popsicles, sugar-free Sugar substitute Some Sugar Free Products may be made with sugar alcohols (isomalt, lactitol, mannitol, sorbitol or xylitol) and are permitted on the SBD. They may have associated side effects of GI distress (abdominal pain, diarrhea & gas) if consumed in excessive amounts. SUGAR SUBSTITUTES Acesulfame K Fructose (needs to be counted as Sweet Treats, Caloric Limit) Nutrasweet (Equal) Saccharin (Sweet & Low) Sucralose (Splenda) Stevia (Not approved by FDA)

Foods NOT Allowed and to be Avoided in Phase 1

VEGETABLES Beets Carrots Corn Potatoes, white Potatoes, sweet Yams BEEF Brisket Liver Other fatty cuts Rib steaks POULTRY Chicken, wings and legs Duck Goose Poultry products, processed PORK Honey-baked ham VEAL Breast FRUIT Avoid ALL fruits and fruit juices in Phase 1, including: Apples Apricots Berries Cantaloupe Grapefruit Peaches Pears

DAIRY 1/2 cup of plain fat-free yogurt (once per day max.) Fat Free 1/2 & 1/2, Nonfat milk, 1% milk, Soy milk allowed with coffee. Otherwise avoid all other dairy products (unless listed under protein choices or sweet treats). Limit to < 2 TBS per cup of coffee. Otherwise, avoid all milk products in Phase 1, including: Yogurt, cup-style and frozen Ice cream Milk, low-fat, fat-free, whole Milk, soy STARCHES AND CARBS Avoid ALL starchy food in Phase 1, including: Bread, all types Cereal Croutons, all types Matzo Oatmeal Rice, all types Pasta, all types Pastry and baked goods, all types CHEESE Brie Edam Non-reduced fat MISCELLANEOUS Alcohol of any kind, including beer and wine No regular ketchup or cocktail sauce No pork rinds - too high in saturated fat No jerky - too high in sugar content Limit Caffeine-Containing Beverages to 1-2 servings per day

Illustration of Carbohydrates in Foods

High GI foods = 70-100
Intermediate GI foods = 56-69
Low GI foods = 0-55

Food Carbohydrates (gm)	Available Carb per Serving	Glycemic Index	Glycemic Load	Carb Calories per Serving
		HIGH
Baked potato, Russet, baked without fat ( 1 small potato, 5 oz.)	30	85	26	120
Waffles, Aunt Jemima (1 piece)	13	76	10	52
Gatorade (1 cup)	15	78	12	60
Grapenuts (approx. 1 cup, Kraft)	22	75	16	88
Bread, whole wheat (1 slice)	13	71	9	52
Bread, white (1 slice)	14	73	10	56
Bagel, (white, frozen)	35	72	25	140
Stuffing ( approx. 1 cup)	21	74	16	84
Graham wafers (approx. 1 cup)	18	74	14	72
Grapenuts (approx. 1 cup, Kraft)	22	75	16	44
Shredded wheat (1 oz. serving)	20	75	15	80
Total (1 oz. serving, General Mills)	22	76	17	88
Cream of Wheat (1 oz. serving, instant, Nabisco)	30	74	22	120
		INTERMEDIATE
Spaghetti, (plain, cooked, 3/4 cup)	44	61	48	176
Rice (brown, cooked, 3/4 cup)	38	60	23	152
Raisin bran (1 oz. serving, Kellogg's)	19	61	12	76
Oatmeal (1 cup)	26	66	17	104
Bran muffin (large)	24	60	15	96
Green pea soup (1 cup)	41	66	27	124
Ice cream, regular(1/2 cup)	13	61	8	52
Blueberry muffin (1)	29	59	17	116
Raisins (1/4 cup)	45	56	25	180
Powerbar, chocolate	26	56	17	104
		LOW
Apple	16	34	5	64
Orange	11	42	5	44
Banana	24	52	12	96
Grapes (1 cup)	18	46	8	72
Carrot (raw, 1 medium)	6	47	3	36
Sweet corn (1/2 cup	17	54	9	68
Bread, 100% whole grain (1 slice)	13	51	7	52
Dried apricots (1/4 cup)	28	31	9	82
Peas (1/2 cup)	7	48	3	28
Orange juice (3/4 cup, 6 oz.)	23	52	12	92
Fruit yogurt (reduced fat, 3/4 cup)	24	27	7	96
Tomato soup (1 cup)	17	38	6	68
Skim milk (1 cup)	13	32	4	52
Baked beans (1/2 cup)	15	48	7	60
Lentils (1/2 cup)	18	29	5	76
Kidney beans (1/2 cup)	25	28	7	100
Lima beans (1/2 cup, baby, frozen)	30	32	10	120
Garbanzo beans (1/2 cup)	30	28	8	120

Bump ahead??

Every time I see this sign it makes me hopeful. I don't know if it will be tomorrow, next week, next month or even next year, but I know it will happen. 

Claim it, Declare it, it will be!!



 

Ups and Downs

The ups and downs of my chart that is.

I got excited to see a huge temp spike, only to see it drop this morning.  I can't believe after only two weeks I could even begin to think that I might have a regular cycle and that the Metformin was actually working, but sadly it was just a fluke, and it must have been warm in the bedroom.

Why can't my body just work like most people?


My Ovulation Chart

Letter to my Mom

Dear Mom,

This is the 1st year without you and I just wanted to say I love you. I wanted you to know how much I miss you everyday and how much I wish you could be with me on my own journey to become a mother.  There is so much I want to ask you, so much I want to know.

Over the years you've taught me so much, you taught me to "knit" and when I say knit I mean that stitch and only stitch. When I saw this card below I thought of you.  Because every time that I pick up those needles and knit a stitch it's because you taught me how to.

I love you, Happy Mother's Day.

Mother's Day Poem for the Infertile

“Happy Mother's Day”
it comes around every year;
but when you have empty arms,
it's very hard to hear.

It's a day to celebrate a mother,
for all the trials she overcame;
and a reminder to an infertile
of her loneliness and shame.

But what really makes a mother,
Is it just conception and birth?
Or is there something more,
that shows a mother's worth?

It's putting your child first,
in everything you do;
it's sacrifice and determination,
and love and patience too.

An infertile woman makes all her plans,
around a child not yet conceived;
she loves them even though they aren't here,
more than she ever could have believed.

She appreciates and understands,
what a blessing that children are;
she works hard for just a chance,
that motherhood is not that far.

All odds are stacked against her,
and yet she still has hope;
everyday is another struggle,
finding ways to help her cope.

So even though her arms are empty,
she can still be a mother too;
So say a special “Happy Mother's Day”
for those waiting for their dreams to come true!

MRI = No Fun

Went to have an MRI to check my Pituitary gland tonight to see if it was ok, and if it was the reason for the raised prolactin levels. I never want to do that again.  It really SUCKED it's something I don't want to do ever, ever again.

I got to my appointment at 4:15pm and they told me it should take about 45 minutes.  I filled out paperwork and in we went.  They needed to put an IV in so they could do the contrast dye so they could get a good picture of my brain (yes it's there, they found it) I had two techs try to find a vein and they weren't having a lot of luck, so they finally got a nurse to come in and look.  They found one, in the worst spot possible right in the middle of the back of my left arm...ouch

They took me into the little room gave me earplugs and put me on the little bed to roll me into the MRI machine, the tech told me I had to stay perfectly still so they could get a good image, apparently I didn't, but then again every time the machine would vibrate my entire body would go into spasm.   I thought I was going to have some sort of attack...really not a fan.  But 1/2 way though the test they came over the speaker and said "ok you're going to feel the contrast go into your arm now" and again, not a fan, it was hot and burned and felt funky.

So they continued the test and finally when it was over they rolled me out, I did tell the nurse I never wanted to do that again...EVER I was so weak and shakey and was just had a feeling of being dazed and confused.  It took a couple of hours but the feeling finally wore off.

I'm so happy it is over and I'm one day closer to being a MOM.