Weekly weigh in

1. How much weight have I lost this week?
Down 5lbs this week, but I'm back to the beach and haven't cheated at all, but I'm still up 5lbs from about 2 months ago, it's not moving.

2. What eating plan are you following?
South Beach

3. What kind of exercise have I engaged in over this past week? How many hours?

Zumba Sunday Monday and Friday
Tried to go wednesday, but house appoinment got out late and I missed it.

4. How was I successful this week ?
More exercise, better eating habits.

5. Any slips or set backs this week?
None really, I was actually pretty good

6. My motivation for losing weight this week?
Getting healthy and staying healthy, maybe with the help of the MF, I might even "O" on my own.

7. Wild Card!!!
Back to reality after vacation.  I may be broken down and beaten up, but I will win this battle!!

Back to the Beach...yet again.

As of this week I'm back to my old standby. About 5 years ago, I lost a total of 70lbs on SBD and did so well with it, but slowly over time gained all but 10lbs back. Which is very disheartening to me. I worked so hard on it, and slowly over 3 years it creeped back on. It was slow to come off and 20lbs here and 20lbs there it came back.

So I'm starting again, let's hope it works for me, and I can stick to it. I say I'm going to start it again and again, and I just can't stick with it.

So phase one starts now. Dinner tonight is going to be a good Phase 2 meal (only because I have some fruit) but tomorrow morning I'm starting Phase 1, which is the shortest phase, lasting 14 days. It reduces cravings for sugar and refined starches, stabilizes blood sugar. The most rapid weight loss takes place during this 2-week period.



If you're not sure what South Beach Diet is, it's all about eating low glycemic foods, that digest slowly and enter your bloodstream slowly. It's about not eating high sugary things that give you that sugar spike and down you out and slow down your metabolism to a dead crawl. But here's a little preview of things that you can eat and things you can't, also a list good glycemic foods.



Foods Allowed in Phase 1

BEEF Lean cuts, such as: Eye of Round Ground beef: Extra Lean (96/4) Lean (92/8) Sirloin (90/10) Tenderloin Top Loin Top Round LAMB (Remove all visible fat) Center Cut Chop Loin PORK Boiled ham Canadian bacon Loin Tenderloin POULTRY (SKINLESS) Cornish hen Turkey bacon (2 slices per day) Turkey and chicken breast SEAFOOD All types of fish and shellfish TOFU Use soft, low-fat or lite varieties VEAL Chop Cutlet, leg Top round EGGS The use of whole eggs is not limited unless otherwise directed by your doctor. Use egg whites and egg substitute if desired. LUNCHMEAT Fat-free or low-fat only MEAT SUBSTITUTES (SOY BASED) Bacon - Limit to 2 slices per day Burger - < 3 gms fat per 2-3 oz portion Chicken Patties & Nuggets - < 3 gms fat per 2-3 oz portion Hot Dogs - < 3 gms fat per 2-3 oz portion Natural Peanut Butter - 2 Tbsp (may use as protein choice or limited nut choice) Sausage Pattie - Limit 1 patty per day Seiten Soy Crumbles Soy Nuts - 1/4 cup for a protein snack is suggested serving Tempeh Yuba DAIRY Low-fat (1 percent) or fat-free milk or soy milk Plain or sugar-free low-fat or fat-free yogurt Fat-free half & half CHEESE (FAT-FREE OR LOW-FAT) American Cheddar Cottage cheese, 1-2% or fat-free Cream cheese substitute, dairy-free Feta Mozzarella Parmesan Provolone Ricotta String NUTS (Limit to one serving per day as specified) Almonds - 15 (Dry roasted recommended) Brazil Nuts - 4 Cashews - 15 (Dry roasted recommended) Pecans - 15 (Dry roasted recommended) Macadamia - 8 (Dry roasted recommended) Peanut Butter - 1 tsp Peanut Butter, Natural = 2 TBS Peanuts, 20 small (May use dry roasted or boiled) Pine Nuts (Pignolia) - 1 ounce Pistachios - 30 (Dry roasted recommended) Walnuts - 15 (Dry roasted recommended) In place of nuts, may use: Flax Seed - 3 TBS

VEGETABLE CHOICES (includes legumes) (May use fresh, frozen or canned without added sugar) Artichokes Asparagus Beans, Green Beans, Italian Beans, Wax Beans or Legumes: Black Beans Butter Beans Chickpeas or Garbanzo Pigeon Peas Soy Beans Split Peas Broccoli Bok Choy Cabbage Cauliflower Celery Collard Greens Cucumbers Eggplant Lettuce (All varieties) Juice (Limit to 6 ounces per day) Tomato V-8 Mushrooms Mustard Greens Okra Onion - Limit to 1/2 per day Peppers (All varieties) Pickles - Dill or those sweetened with Splenda® Radishes (All varieties) Rhubarb Sauerkraut Snow peas Spinach Sprouts, Alfalfa Squash, Spaghetti Squash, Summer Yellow Zucchini Tomato - Limit to 1 whole or 10 cherry per serving FAT CHOICES (with some suggested serving sizes) The following monounsaturated oils are recommended to be consumed daily: Olive Oil Canola Oil Other Oil Choices that may be chosen (Polyunsaturated or a blend of Monounsaturated): Corn Enova Grape seed Safflower Soybean OTHER FAT CHOICES: Avocado - 1/3 whole = 1 TBS oil Guacamole - ½ cup = 1 TBS oil Margarine - Chose those that do not contain Trans Fatty Acids such as Fleishmann's Premium Olive Oil or Smart Balance Mayonnaise - Regular or Low Fat Olives (Green or Ripe) 15 = 1/2 TBS Salad Dressing - Use those < 3 gms sugar per serving TOPPINGS & SAUCES use sparingly (check labels for added sugar) Hot Sauce Salsa - Limit to 2 TBS during phase 1 Soy Sauce - 1/2 TBS Steak Sauce - 1/2 TBS Worcestershire Sauce - 1 TBS Whipped Topping (Light) - 2 TBS SPICES AND SEASONINGS All spices that contain no added sugar Broth Extracts (almond, vanilla, or others) Horseradish sauce I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! Spray Lemon Juice Lime Juice Pepper (black, cayenne, red, white) SWEET TREATS (Limit to 75 calories per day) Candies, hard, sugar-free Chocolate powder, no-added-sugar Cocoa powder, baking type Fudgsicles, sugar-free Gelatin, sugar-free Gum, sugar-free Popsicles, sugar-free Sugar substitute Some Sugar Free Products may be made with sugar alcohols (isomalt, lactitol, mannitol, sorbitol or xylitol) and are permitted on the SBD. They may have associated side effects of GI distress (abdominal pain, diarrhea & gas) if consumed in excessive amounts. SUGAR SUBSTITUTES Acesulfame K Fructose (needs to be counted as Sweet Treats, Caloric Limit) Nutrasweet (Equal) Saccharin (Sweet & Low) Sucralose (Splenda) Stevia (Not approved by FDA)

Foods NOT Allowed and to be Avoided in Phase 1

VEGETABLES Beets Carrots Corn Potatoes, white Potatoes, sweet Yams BEEF Brisket Liver Other fatty cuts Rib steaks POULTRY Chicken, wings and legs Duck Goose Poultry products, processed PORK Honey-baked ham VEAL Breast FRUIT Avoid ALL fruits and fruit juices in Phase 1, including: Apples Apricots Berries Cantaloupe Grapefruit Peaches Pears

DAIRY 1/2 cup of plain fat-free yogurt (once per day max.) Fat Free 1/2 & 1/2, Nonfat milk, 1% milk, Soy milk allowed with coffee. Otherwise avoid all other dairy products (unless listed under protein choices or sweet treats). Limit to < 2 TBS per cup of coffee. Otherwise, avoid all milk products in Phase 1, including: Yogurt, cup-style and frozen Ice cream Milk, low-fat, fat-free, whole Milk, soy STARCHES AND CARBS Avoid ALL starchy food in Phase 1, including: Bread, all types Cereal Croutons, all types Matzo Oatmeal Rice, all types Pasta, all types Pastry and baked goods, all types CHEESE Brie Edam Non-reduced fat MISCELLANEOUS Alcohol of any kind, including beer and wine No regular ketchup or cocktail sauce No pork rinds - too high in saturated fat No jerky - too high in sugar content Limit Caffeine-Containing Beverages to 1-2 servings per day

Illustration of Carbohydrates in Foods

High GI foods = 70-100
Intermediate GI foods = 56-69
Low GI foods = 0-55

Food Carbohydrates (gm)	Available Carb per Serving	Glycemic Index	Glycemic Load	Carb Calories per Serving
		HIGH
Baked potato, Russet, baked without fat ( 1 small potato, 5 oz.)	30	85	26	120
Waffles, Aunt Jemima (1 piece)	13	76	10	52
Gatorade (1 cup)	15	78	12	60
Grapenuts (approx. 1 cup, Kraft)	22	75	16	88
Bread, whole wheat (1 slice)	13	71	9	52
Bread, white (1 slice)	14	73	10	56
Bagel, (white, frozen)	35	72	25	140
Stuffing ( approx. 1 cup)	21	74	16	84
Graham wafers (approx. 1 cup)	18	74	14	72
Grapenuts (approx. 1 cup, Kraft)	22	75	16	44
Shredded wheat (1 oz. serving)	20	75	15	80
Total (1 oz. serving, General Mills)	22	76	17	88
Cream of Wheat (1 oz. serving, instant, Nabisco)	30	74	22	120
		INTERMEDIATE
Spaghetti, (plain, cooked, 3/4 cup)	44	61	48	176
Rice (brown, cooked, 3/4 cup)	38	60	23	152
Raisin bran (1 oz. serving, Kellogg's)	19	61	12	76
Oatmeal (1 cup)	26	66	17	104
Bran muffin (large)	24	60	15	96
Green pea soup (1 cup)	41	66	27	124
Ice cream, regular(1/2 cup)	13	61	8	52
Blueberry muffin (1)	29	59	17	116
Raisins (1/4 cup)	45	56	25	180
Powerbar, chocolate	26	56	17	104
		LOW
Apple	16	34	5	64
Orange	11	42	5	44
Banana	24	52	12	96
Grapes (1 cup)	18	46	8	72
Carrot (raw, 1 medium)	6	47	3	36
Sweet corn (1/2 cup	17	54	9	68
Bread, 100% whole grain (1 slice)	13	51	7	52
Dried apricots (1/4 cup)	28	31	9	82
Peas (1/2 cup)	7	48	3	28
Orange juice (3/4 cup, 6 oz.)	23	52	12	92
Fruit yogurt (reduced fat, 3/4 cup)	24	27	7	96
Tomato soup (1 cup)	17	38	6	68
Skim milk (1 cup)	13	32	4	52
Baked beans (1/2 cup)	15	48	7	60
Lentils (1/2 cup)	18	29	5	76
Kidney beans (1/2 cup)	25	28	7	100
Lima beans (1/2 cup, baby, frozen)	30	32	10	120
Garbanzo beans (1/2 cup)	30	28	8	120

Bump ahead??

Every time I see this sign it makes me hopeful. I don't know if it will be tomorrow, next week, next month or even next year, but I know it will happen. 

Claim it, Declare it, it will be!!



 

Ups and Downs

The ups and downs of my chart that is.

I got excited to see a huge temp spike, only to see it drop this morning.  I can't believe after only two weeks I could even begin to think that I might have a regular cycle and that the Metformin was actually working, but sadly it was just a fluke, and it must have been warm in the bedroom.

Why can't my body just work like most people?


My Ovulation Chart

Letter to my Mom

Dear Mom,

This is the 1st year without you and I just wanted to say I love you. I wanted you to know how much I miss you everyday and how much I wish you could be with me on my own journey to become a mother.  There is so much I want to ask you, so much I want to know.

Over the years you've taught me so much, you taught me to "knit" and when I say knit I mean that stitch and only stitch. When I saw this card below I thought of you.  Because every time that I pick up those needles and knit a stitch it's because you taught me how to.

I love you, Happy Mother's Day.

Mother's Day Poem for the Infertile

“Happy Mother's Day”
it comes around every year;
but when you have empty arms,
it's very hard to hear.

It's a day to celebrate a mother,
for all the trials she overcame;
and a reminder to an infertile
of her loneliness and shame.

But what really makes a mother,
Is it just conception and birth?
Or is there something more,
that shows a mother's worth?

It's putting your child first,
in everything you do;
it's sacrifice and determination,
and love and patience too.

An infertile woman makes all her plans,
around a child not yet conceived;
she loves them even though they aren't here,
more than she ever could have believed.

She appreciates and understands,
what a blessing that children are;
she works hard for just a chance,
that motherhood is not that far.

All odds are stacked against her,
and yet she still has hope;
everyday is another struggle,
finding ways to help her cope.

So even though her arms are empty,
she can still be a mother too;
So say a special “Happy Mother's Day”
for those waiting for their dreams to come true!

MRI = No Fun

Went to have an MRI to check my Pituitary gland tonight to see if it was ok, and if it was the reason for the raised prolactin levels. I never want to do that again.  It really SUCKED it's something I don't want to do ever, ever again.

I got to my appointment at 4:15pm and they told me it should take about 45 minutes.  I filled out paperwork and in we went.  They needed to put an IV in so they could do the contrast dye so they could get a good picture of my brain (yes it's there, they found it) I had two techs try to find a vein and they weren't having a lot of luck, so they finally got a nurse to come in and look.  They found one, in the worst spot possible right in the middle of the back of my left arm...ouch

They took me into the little room gave me earplugs and put me on the little bed to roll me into the MRI machine, the tech told me I had to stay perfectly still so they could get a good image, apparently I didn't, but then again every time the machine would vibrate my entire body would go into spasm.   I thought I was going to have some sort of attack...really not a fan.  But 1/2 way though the test they came over the speaker and said "ok you're going to feel the contrast go into your arm now" and again, not a fan, it was hot and burned and felt funky.

So they continued the test and finally when it was over they rolled me out, I did tell the nurse I never wanted to do that again...EVER I was so weak and shakey and was just had a feeling of being dazed and confused.  It took a couple of hours but the feeling finally wore off.

I'm so happy it is over and I'm one day closer to being a MOM.

I found this story on Resolve website about the cost of infertility and it really hit home.

The Costs of Infertility Treatment

While medical staff expertise and clinic success rates, reputation and location will most likely be the criteria you use to choose an infertility clinic, cost may also be a factor. Since most assisted reproductive technologies (ART) are not covered by insurance, the patient has to pay “out-of-pocket,” often leading to increased stress as well as long-term financial burdens. 

Trying to find the costs associated with infertility treatment can be frustrating. RESOLVE sought cost information from more than 30 clinics across the country. Most clinic websites do not list pricing; in fact, the financial information on most clinic websites deals primarily with insurance issues, not treatment cost or payment terms. Some clinics have relationships with financing organizations such as Advanced Reproductive Care (ARC) or IntegraMed, (see “Infertility Financing Programs"), and include links to those services on their websites, but offer little information about the actual cost of treatment. 

The American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) lists the average price of an in vitro fertilization (IVF) cycle in the U.S. to be $12,400. (ASRM does not qualify if this includes medications.) We sought to find the price of intrauterine insemination (IUI), one IVF cycle using fresh embryos, and the additional charges for intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) and preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD) (where offered) from a cross section of clinics throughout the U.S. We called and e-mailed clinics that did not list prices on their websites, and discovered that some clinics generally do not give cost information over the phone (but they did for this story). When clinics do list the prices on their website, the information is clear and easy to understand, without many exclusions or disclaimers. RESOLVE encourages all clinics to post updated pricing on their websites. 

• Average cost of an IUI cycle: $865; Median Cost: $350
• Average Cost of an IVF cycle using fresh embryos (not including medications): $8,158; Median Cost: $7,500
• Average additional cost of ICSI procedure:$1,544; Median Cost: $1,500
• Average additional cost of PGD procedure: $3,550; Median Cost: $3,200
  (Note: Medications for IVF are $3,000 $5,000 per fresh cycle on average.)

Several interesting trends in clinic pricing have surfaced:

• In areas with few infertility clinics, prices, on average, are higher
• High cost of living does not equate to high treatment costs
• IUI prices ranged from $275 to $2,457—a huge differential. Some prices quoted include medications, blood work and sonograms; others do not—hence the huge price differential.
• ICSI prices across the country are within $500 of each other—$1,000 to $1,500.

Conclusion
Patients seeking ART such as IVF should choose their physician carefully and weigh a number of factors. If cost is a factor in your decision making, ask the clinic for a detailed list of procedures and corresponding costs, and follow up with these questions:

• Are medications, tests, lab work and consultations included in the cost of treatment?
• Does the clinic provide financial counseling and psychological counseling? If so, are there fees for these services?
• Since most patients do not have insurance coverage for infertility treatment, knowing the costs up front makes good financial sense.

Here is my take on the cost of infertility.

I think it's a huge emotional cost on a marriage, its hard, it's taxing, it's so many emotions at once. Like today's little debacle. He was so upset and heart broken, not that that fact that he couldn't leave his little donation, but the fact that he was letting me down.

I felt so bad for him, and all I wanted to do was go to him and give him a huge hug and I couldn't

I hate what this has done to us, I hate the fact that I can't give him a child, I hate my body, I hate everything about IF

He sent me a text when he was at the REs office and said you wanna know the ? of the day. I asked what? He said one of the things he had to fill out was have you ever father a child his answer was yeah 1998. And there was nothing I could do about that either. I'm sure that had to kill him.

Let's talk

It's all about the numbers

I'm writing this down so I don't forget them and doing it when they're fresh in my mind is the best thing.

AMH .984

2 Hour GTT

Fasting - 116
1/2 Hour - 205
1 Hour - 205
2 Hour - 110

Prolactin 35

FSH 2.5

Blood Pressure 118/66

Cholesterol 148
HDL 48

Do I, or Don't I have it...

And the answer is....I DO!!

PCOS-IR that is.

After 22 vials of blood, a full panel of questions and an internal ultrasound I finally have a diagnosis and a plan. My RE said I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and Metabolic Syndrome and possibly hyperprolactinenmia which can be caused by the PCOS but the RE wants to rule it out with an MRI of my brain to check my pituitary gland, to make sure there isn't a tumor.

 The doctor wasn't overly concerned with the elevated prolactin levels she just wanted a baseline to check it in the future, she said she wouldn't even treat it at this point. But better safe than sorry right.

Now the plan to get me pregnant is first to put me on Metformin for three months to see how it works or if it works then if that doesn't work we try a few cycles of Clomid and timed intercourse, then 2 rounds of Clomid with IUIs and then she suggested because of my age not doing injectables and going right to IVF if nothing else works, but I'm really hoping it doesn't go that far, because that means we will have been trying yet another year.

It was all very hard to hear today and very hard to take in, but I did, and I know we have a plan and I will be a Mom.